BBB AUTISM SUPPORT NETWORK

Hello Everyone!

Well, it’s that time of the year again and we have had more than a few requests to do a holiday issue. You will note we’ve included very little information about gift buying, and that is because we devoted an entire E-News to that topic just last month! To check that out, go to: http://www.bbbautism.com/vol_2_iss_4_gifts.htm. This is another of those topics where information on the Web is scarce. When this happens we rely upon you, our faithful readers to contribute hints, links and articles - more so than usual. I want to thank everyone who helped out, it is gratifying to see newer subscribers getting involved! J

As for the holidays in our house, well, we celebrate Hanukkah, which is very low key around here. We may have one night where the kids get a couple of small presents, but the only feasting we do is on latkes. We light the menorah (Hanukkah candles) every night and recite the blessing. My son just adores this part and he sings “Happy Birthday” when the candles are lit. (A cognitive milestone that brings tears to my eyes!)

When we visit my in-laws for the Hanukkah party, we take two cars in case we have to leave suddenly. We bring our own food for J. and always bring a sensory fidget bag (read more about this here: http://www.bbbautism.com/aso_wkshp_005.htm). We can see trouble coming now, and quickly head for the hills before the screaming starts! At the end of December, we fly off to Disney World, which is a whole other ball game, not to mention a whole other E-News issue! J

Good luck to everyone this season, no matter what you are celebrating. Peace and joy to all!

Liz

For the past couple of years, I've hosted two separate Christmas dinners (one for my family on Christmas Day and another for my husband's family on a day that we all agree on). It may sound like a lot of work -- actually it is! -- but I find that Adam copes better at home and the extra work is well worth my sanity. When he has 'had enough' of cousins/aunts/uncles/bright lights/new toys that overstimulate/etc, he just retreats to a quiet area of the house to re-group.

My sisters-in-law are amazing and have started a tradition of "pitching in" by bringing hors d'oeuvres or dessert, or a vegetable dish, etc. to help take the load off of me.

By Amy Ames, music producer, recording artist, songwriter, math teacher and the mother of an autistic child.

I wrote a story and put it into a song titled, "Autism and Christmas". You can hear a sample of the song at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/amyames2

The song is mostly true about my son going ballistic on Christmas. I think it will put some humor into a very difficult time.

After what happened two years ago Christmas, we are going very simple this year. We're putting up a fake tree just plain (absolutely no lights please). Then my son can put on a few ornaments and that's it. Our doctor told us to block off one decorated room from our son. We know that won't work, so we're making it real simple.

AUTISM AND CHRISTMAS (3:54)
Written by Amy Ames

SONG LYRICS
Autism and Christmas just do not mix. Our son went ballistic. It was a sad sight to witness. Too much stimulation, decorations and gifts, I think next Christmas we'll just sing bible hymns.

Well, this Christmas we spent with Grandma Alice.
She spent the whole month decorating for the kids.
And in an instance, our son Sam, may I mention, stole Christmas and the label of Autism.

Autism and Christmas just do not mix. Our son went ballistic. It was a sad sight to witness. Too much stimulation, decorations and gifts, I think next Christmas we'll just sing bible hymns.

No sooner as we got inside, we heard footsteps on the roof. The kids got excited and yelled, "Hay, that's Rudolf's hooves!" We all ran outside to view a scary sight. There hanging off the edge was Sam unscrewing all the Christmas lights.

Autism and Christmas just do not mix. Our son went ballistic. It was a sad sight to witness. Too much stimulation, decorations and gifts, I think next Christmas we'll just sing bible hymns.

At last, Santa came with presents and good cheer.
It wasn't long before we noticed Sammy wasn't here.
He was found holding a taillight and a grill.
Oh, my Lord, he striped Santa's automobile.

Autism and Christmas just do not mix. Our son went ballistic. It was a sad sight to witness. Too much stimulation, decorations and gifts, I think next Christmas we'll just sing bible hymns.

Then, Sammy took the presents and stacked them like a tower. When we got close to them, he screamed and hollered. Grandma Alice got tired and said she had to rest.
That's when Sam took apart all her toilets.

Well, it was time for the family to leave. No one doubted Sammy's disability.
"And can you imagine," said Grandma Alice at the door,
"Tomorrow's Sam's birthday, and he's only turning four."

Autism and Christmas just do not mix. Our son went ballistic. It was a sad sight to witness. Too much stimulation, decorations and gifts, I think next Christmas we'll just sing bible hymns.

For D, I need to remind everyone to keep things low key. We used to go to my in laws on both Xmas eve and Xmas day. I told my husband 2 yrs ago that it was either one day or the other. My in laws live about 30 minutes from us and it was just too much running back and forth. Now we go to the in laws on Xmas day followed by a visit to my sister’s house which is only 5 minutes from them. So it works out much better. We don't do a HUGE family party anymore because D just gets to worked up and he gets too stimmy both vocally and physically. I let relatives know ahead of time not to get disappointed if they don't get the reaction over the gifts that they give to D. He has never been a truck/car kid and yet every year, someone gets him a truck or a car and is crushed over his lack of enthusiasm. (I tell everyone every year the things that he likes but there are always those relatives that think they "know better”)

For the last couple of years I have had a small 3-foot Christmas tree for each of the kids with unbreakable ornaments that they are allowed to decorate and play with at their discretion. The kids have their own little corner and a box of ornaments and this can keep my two busy for days decorating and playing with the ornaments on their tree - and - if it falls over - who cares - we just start over.

Also, those packaged cookies that you buy with the icing tube and decorations is also a good way to pass some time. We make sure also to plan activities like walks and sleigh rides during the holidays. D loves tobogganing (sensory I'm sure).

Also, get a sitter and plan at least one (if not more) night out with some adult company that don't have children with autism and drink your butt off! This one's my favourite!!! See if the sitter is available for the next morning too! (ESSENTIAL!) and have all ingredients for bloody marys available to get you going the next day or some Bailey's for your coffee!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Traveling through airport security will never be the same. Every traveler passing through a security checkpoint will now encounter waiting in long lines, having to produce two forms of picture identification at multiple locations, mandatory questioning and inspections of personal belongings by strangers and the increasing likelihood of a light touch by stranger holding a Geiger counter-like sound producing wand. When you add to the mix the possibility of a complete physical frisk or pat down and the presence and scrutiny of armed, uniformed paramilitary personnel the accompanying sensory-enhancing gauntlet of sounds lights and touch can tax the system of any traveler let alone one who has autism. This experience has quickly become standard operating procedure at U.S. airports.

People with autism, parents and caregivers may want to consider taking some extra measures to make passing through a security checkpoint easier.

As daunting as a security checkpoint is for some children and adults with autism, we must consider the point-of-view of the security professional. The behavior or characteristics of the child or adult with autism may make the security professional extremely anxious. Consider the reliance on visual cues and innocent echolalia a person with autism may display, such as repeating a phrase observed on a close-by poster. At a security checkpoint that phrase might include words that cite the laws or warn against the use of the words "bomb threat" or "hijacking." Someone who repeats this phrase would quickly come under suspicion at a security checkpoint. Those that repeat a question, run from or blanche at passing through a metal detector, or become over-anxious at attempts to touch them would also merit extra scrutiny. Left unexplained, the behaviors and characteristics of some person's with autism may delay their trip and cause unnecessary anxiety. These encounters are the types of situations that can easily escalate into misinterpretations, verbal and physical confrontations, physical containment and restraint.

"Those with autism, parents and caregivers may want to consider carrying autism handout information which would at least include a basic autism brochure, and a person-specific handout that at least includes their picture, description, information about behaviors that security may find suspicious and the best way a security professional can communicate with or interact with that person. Many parents find business card handouts that might contain a message such as 'Perhaps my son/daughter's behavior is surprising to you. This is because he/she has autism', a brief definition of autism, and the phone number/website address of a local or national advocacy organization."

These are grass roots, one-on-one autism awareness campaigns. Make sure to carry enough generic information to leave behind with the security professionals you may encounter. Anyone reading this message can download the informational handout "Educating the Community...and Law Enforcement" at http://www.policeandautism.cjb.net/ make copies and hand them out. An expanded version of this handout and other awareness and educational materials are available in my new book.

If possible, make travel plans well in advance. Call the airlines and security companies (soon to be mainly federalized) and ask what you can do to help the security experience go more smoothly for the person with autism and the security professionals they will interact with. If the trip has to be made suddenly, arrive extra early, bring plenty of handouts and explain to the gate agent what your needs are.

Those that have the time may want to inquire with their air carrier about assistance plans they may offer inexperienced travelers. Northwest Airlines, for example, offers the Adult Assistance Program for a fee ranging from $40.00 to $75.00. This may prove to be money well spent. The program offers personal assistance from check-in, through security and boarding and through the destination airport. While the program does not assist with eating, personal hygiene or medication issues, it does provide assistance through the crucial security checkpoints. Parents and caregivers of a passenger using travel assist can also pass through security with their loved even if they are not traveling with them. Special security passes would be issued in lieu of tickets. A program like Northwest Airlines' Adult Assistance could be utilized by caregivers even if they are traveling with a loved one.

Anticipating the worst is never a pleasant proposition. But it's something we do all the time in our everyday lives when we put on seat belts, lock our back doors, pay the life insurance. The downside for not doing these things is extremely negative in each example. But do we shudder in fear every time we do these things? Of course not. They are common sense options associated with everyday life.

Taking extra precautions is also an everyday consideration that those with autism that can, parents and caregivers also become accustomed to taking. When traveling through our communities, and airports, taking the precautions--alerting security, carrying ID and informational handouts, considering the needs of others, anticipating possibilities--can help make our trips and travel a lot safer and a lot more relaxing. Give yourself at least two weeks to seek the best that our airlines and airport security can offer. But it's never too late to alert the airlines and security professionals to a special request for assistance.

(Special thanks to Mike Flotteron of Northwest Airlines for his assistance in preparing this report. Most major airlines offer programs similar to the Adult Assistance Program. Check with your air carrier about special travelers services they offer)

My family has always felt that Christmas is a very important time for family and outdoor activity. For many years my brother, R (who is non-verbal and has autism) was really the centre of attention. Then in 1991, when he was 37 years old, my daughter was born. The next year, my other daughter arrived. Suddenly R was no longer the centre of attention, and we all tried very hard to make this transition successful.

He loved to help me change them as small babies, as long as dirty diapers were not involved! He especially enjoyed doing the snaps and zippers up on their sleepers. As they grew bigger he was a little more cautious of them, seeming to be afraid of their unpredictable movements. To make him comfortable, he was in charge of pushing the stroller (they were tied down there), and pulling them on the sled (which he would tip into the snow when he was tired - they have always thought that was funny). He rides on the sled with them down the hill now (something he used to do with my sister and I when we were little). For him, as for many adults, having children around seems to encourage him to be very active - going for walks, going skating, sledding, etc. They really feel that if they are going to be outside playing, he should be too. Although I think he probably sighs with relief when they go home (as do the other adults), I think he enjoys them pushing him to do things with them. Since they are the only children in the next generation they feel strongly that Rick should know them, and they know him, since they tell me that when I am gone R will come to their house for Christmas.

Other traditions that we have over the holiday have evolved over the years. R has great difficulty with the tags in the back of clothes, and pockets on shirts that do not lay flat. If they get into his room he frets about them and will often get up in the night and rip his clothes to get them out. So a tradition we have is he opens a gift, holds it up for everyone to see, then walks over to me and puts it in a pile near my chair. Before going in to help Mom make lunch he goes to his room, gets the mending basket, and gives me the seam ripper. I proceed to remove all tags, pockets, etc. He inspects my work, and then takes the items and puts them back with his gifts. We have done this same routine for at least 20 years. When guests arrive, R's natural reaction is to go to my parent's room, wrap himself in his favourite blanket and stay there until everyone leaves. To prevent this we always have R help put out treats on a tray, and he is in charge of passing the food. Over the years we have convinced him not to select items for people he thinks are too slow! He especially likes to receive food in his Christmas stocking that he can put out to pass to other people. When he was younger he used to put out chocolates, but he would quietly make a tiny hole in the bottom of each chocolate with his nail, so he could test if it had a soft or hard centre (he particularly liked soft cherries).

...we stay home!! It was a complete nightmare to go from house to house during the holidays, our son would get soooooo overloaded and we would spend the whole time chasing after him or trying to calm him down. I never did sit down to Christmas dinner when it was actually served, lol! I always ate afterwards with my son, when everyone else had gone to another room and it was quiet. So the year before last we just told everyone that it was too stressful for all of us (not just our son) and that we were going to do it our way until the kids were older. We have worked out a great system --- Christmas Eve is spent just the four of us at home. Then Christmas morning, my parents and sister come for brunch, spend a couple hours maximum visiting and opening gifts. Then around 2pm it's the in-laws’ turn, we serve snacks and they spend a couple hours with the kids. The kids are much calmer, it's pretty much stress-free for hubby and me, and best of all is that we are done before supper!!!! My in-laws think it's selfish of me, but it's what works. We actually look forward to the holidays now, lol!!!

R and K are pretty mellow so visiting isn't that much of a hassle for us. It’s the long vacation form school routines that are killers. We also have to deal with R's birthday during the holidays as well.

As far as the days off from school I find keeping them busy with seasonal crafts is fun for them.

I went to dollar store recently and got fixings for crafts that R suggested.

Stockings: minis that can hang on trees...made from red Bristol board, cotton balls, glitter glue to put names or decorate with stars etc.

Fairly easy to make: I drew a stocking and traced several out on Bristol board. I think I yielded about 30 of them per sheet. Then we take cotton balls and stretch them out so they go farther and glue them to top of stocking as the white trim. We use the glitter glue to put names one them and then I glue a piece of string in a loop on back so it can hang on the tree.

R also asked to make snowmen. We are using Styrofoam balls for this. I haven’t made one yet so can't give details on how to assemble. Styrofoam balls, silver glitter, yarn and black beads...going to try to make some small scarves for them too. Using pipe cleaners for arms.

And we decided to make wreaths for teachers this year. This is more detailed and needs more help from older sister and me to assemble.

Need wooden wreaths. I can get them at craft stores, small ornaments, balls, bows, candy canes, bead garlands, anything can be used as long as its not too big. Ribbons too. I try to lay out the ornaments symmetrically so its not lopsided and then use hot glue to stick them on.

I did something similar to this a couple of years ago to my wedding bouquet. Artificial flowers that were in my closet are now displayed on a heart shaped wreath beside a cross-stitched wedding announcement.

Anyway this is one thing we do to keep the holidays fun and less boredom for them.

The week after Christmas we deal with setting rules for certain toys ...then R's birthday.

The leftover vacation we get the kids out to the toboggan hill or play outside in the snow...my kids love making snow angels and then painting them so mommy can take pictures. We use water paint-to-paint snow.sponges to put paint on...

We may even get to the movies...we hit the charity days on Sunday when admission is only 2.00 per person and it goes to a local charity like school fundraising projects or lions club.

Anyway that's the planned things we always do. We try to play it by ear on what else to do based on moods etc.

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's winter vacation tips and plans!

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the
love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons.
Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say,
"I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple
"Thanks for the help" note
or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be
remembered for a lifetime,
and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red,"
"You did a super job"
or "That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way
to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing
better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give
the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is
to extend a kind word to someone.
Really, it's not that hard to say
Hello or Thank You.

(Author unknown)

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FRUSTRATED WITH MISPLACED OR DISORGANIZED PICTURES FOR YOUR COMMUNICATION SYSTEM?

You and your child need a user-friendly, easy to use communication binder that is organized to make communicating fast and fun!

1. Halloween
2. Epsom Salts
3. Pros and Cons of telling your ASD child his/her diagnosis
4. How we advocate for our children

To request, email liz@deaknet.com and indicate which volume/issue(s) you prefer. You can order in HTML, MSWORD or PDF. Newsletter Archives are also available on our website at http://www.bbbautism.com/news_arch.htm .

Volume 1; Issue 1 WELCOME ISSUE!
Volume 1; Issue 2 SUMMER CRISIS ISSUE
Volume 1; Issue 3 SPOUSAL CONCERNS ISSUE
Volume 1; Issue 4 SENSORY INTEGRATION
Volume 1; Issue 5 CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS
Volume 1; Issue 6 BACK TO SCHOOL
Volume 2; Issue 1 IEP
Volume 2; Issue 2 KEEPING YOUR COOL - WHEN YOUR EMOTIONS ARE ON FIRE
Volume 2; Issue 3 DEALING WITH STRESS
Volume 2; Issue 4 GIFTS FOR THE CHILD WITH ASD
Volume 2; Issue 5 ONE CHILD’S STORY – A TALE OF LOVE AND INTERVENTIONS

HOW TO SET UP A HOME PROGRAM - Guest hosted by Kathy Lear, creator of Help Us Learn; A Self Paced Training Program for ABA. Date and time to be announced...

SOCIAL SKILLS FOR THE ASD CHILD WHEN RELATING TO A SIBLING, SOCIAL SKILLS IN GENERAL AND KEEPING YOUR COOL...BEHAVIORAL CHATS

Guest hosted by Deanna Pietramala of Leaps and Bounds (Specialized Programming Service in Ontario) http://www.leapsandboundsservices.com/

Tuesday, December 11 from 1:30 pm to 2:30 pm EST

PLEASE NOTE: TRANSCRIPTS FROM APRAXIA, CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS, EVERYDAY SENSORY STRATEGIES AND AUTISM, DEANNA PIETRAMALA (CHAT #1) AND ENZYMES CHATS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST liz@deaknet.com

coming soon: "Autism and Essential Fatty Acids", "Central Auditory Processing Disorders", "Siblings of Children with ASD", "ADHD/ADD and ASD", "Autism and Nutrition", "Acceptance and Denial".

Regular chats take place Mondays at 1pm and 9 pm. Please join our hosts Lynn, Tina and myself. Specialty guest-hosted chats will be announced.

Hi! Floyd Tilton of About.Com’s autism/pdd community has generously invited us to borrow their wonderful chat room to use for our chats. The following is a detailed description of how to access this room.

4. On this page: (a) Under "nickname", delete "guest" and type in a name for yourself. (b) Choose your preferred "font size".

5. Click on "Connect" and after a very short time; your chat screen will come up.

6. Move your screen by clicking the icon at the top left hand side of the window. Then drag the window to centre of your screen.

NOW AVAILABLE: "BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO ASD IN PRESCHOOLERS IN YORK REGION" - A step-by-step approach. You've got a diagnosis, NOW what do you do? Also includes resources, links, recommended reading and guidelines for funding forms.

"GENERAL BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO ASD" Includes a dictionary, short guide to communication, sensory integrations, autism and diet, ABA/IBI and a list of other therapies, recommended reading, links and more. Designed as a companion to the York Region Guide, it is also a stand-alone and can be used for any area.

Newsletter Archives: http://www.bbbautism.com/news_arch.htm
Parent Empowerment Resources: http://www.bbbautism.com/calendar_empowerment.htm
Look for new sections every time a workshop is presented!
Now available: Communication as Behavior: http://www.bbbautism.com/aso_001_resources.htm
Effective Advocacy: http://www.bbbautism.com/aso_002_wkshp.htm
Wills, Trusts and Tax Concerns: http://www.bbbautism.com/aso_wkshp_004_financial_concerns.htm
Writing Effective Needs Statements: http://www.bbbautism.com/aso_003_wkshp.htm

Work in progress: Seizure Disorders. Starts here: http://www.bbbautism.com/seizure_disorders.htm
We also have a new section on notes from a member who attended the recent DAN! Karen has provided us with 20 “chapters” and they start here: http://www.bbbautism.com/dan_whats_in_and_out.htm

Check us out, we’ve changed. I’ve removed all the frames from the website making it easier to find exactly what you are looking for. Each section now has it’s own ‘address’, making it even easier to navigate. Major housekeeping going on, making information seeking simpler than ever! Updates happen almost every day at BBB Autism!

PLEASE COME CHECK OUT BBB KIDS...A GREAT MESSAGE BOARD FOR SIBLINGS AND HIGHER FUNCTIONING KIDS TO MEET!

Dental Care and Autism with Dr. David Isen AT HIS OFFICE – 4800 LESLIE STREET SUITE 111, NORTH YORK

Living With Asperger’s Syndrome. Gary Waleski, An Adult With Asperger’s Talks About His Experiences

Understanding how the disorder affects the child and tips on how to effectively deal with children in your care. To help parents, teacher and EAs better understand and help facilitate the child’s growth in school. Gary is totally independent, works fulltime, has further career goals, does frequent public speaking presentations on autism/PDD, and is newsletter editor for Autism Society Ontario – Halton Chapter. He has a large circle of friends, many hobbies & interests and leads a well-balanced and fulfilling life.

...Proudly Presented by Autism Society Ontario ~ York Region Chapter and BBB Autism Support Network

Registration Required, Limited Enrollment. Email asoyork@axxent.ca Location: 11181 Yonge Street, Richmond Hill

1A New Diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder; A Time-Line Continuum ~ Margo Allen, Early Intervention Services and Liz C, BBB Autism/ASO York Region, Darlene Spence, York Behavior Management

COMING IN APRIL 2002

A weekend with Dr. Robert Naseef ~ a weekend conference addressing the following topics:

· Special Children, Challenged Parents, Caring Professionals: Building Links that Endure

· First Aid for Your Relationship: When You’re Raising a Child With Special Needs

To subscribe, e-mail bbbautism@deaknet.com please provide your name and location. To unsubscribe, e-mail bbbautism@deaknet.com please write 'unsubscribe' in subject line. If you think you know someone who might enjoy or benefit from these newsletters, kindly forward us their email address at bbbautism@deaknet.com

The founders of this newsletter and the BBB Autism support club are not physicians.

This newsletter references books and other web sites that may be of interest to the reader. The founders make no presentation or warranty with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the information contained on any of these web sites or in the books, and specifically disclaim any liability for any information contained on, or omissions from, these books or web sites. Reference to these web sites or books herein shall not be construed to be an endorsement of these web sites or books or of the information contained thereon, by the founders.

	*Pictures are always located in the same place, which eliminates frustration while searching for "words".*
	*It is easier to recognize when pictures are lost or need to be replaced.*
	*Categories and colours make finding and putting pictures away much easier than in the past!*
	*Sentence strip is located on the front of the binder for easy access.*
	*Binder is small therefore portable.*
	*You can use a number of different sizes and types of pictures* COMMUNICATION MADE EASY © supports many types of picture communication systems. PCS ~ Boardmaker Picture This CD ROMs Your own Photographs Communication Made Easy © will transfer the picture communication system of your choice, put it into a Fitzgerald Key and add to your very own binder. Pages will be totally organized by skill. *Customizable:* we will be happy to look at incorporating other types of pictures into your child's binder. We will also customize the size of binder. Coming soon...Themed Binders: Going to School, Going to a Restaurant, Going to Grandma's. To read more about the Fitzgerald Key, go to this page: http://www.bbbautism.com/pecs_fitzgerald_key.htm. For more information, contact Dawn Gutowski Cell # 905-868-2282 Phone # 905-868-8370 E-mail: dawngutowski@hotmail.com